Misanthropic.

So yesterday was a pretty terrible day. I am having some difficulties with work that I won’t go into here, but suffice it to say that I’ve been very upset about how things have been going. I ended up staying home all day, crying a lot, and ranting at friends via instant messenger. I couldn’t stand to be around real-life people. All I wanted was digital friends, but that was still hollow.

I didn’t feel better until later. I had gone downstairs to get myself a bottle of mineral water, in an attempt to cheer myself up. As I wandered through my dark living room, I was inspired. So I returned to my room and wrote a song about my situation. The words flew out of me; at times almost faster than I could type. As I went on with each verse/chorus/whatever, the messiness and rage seemed to pour out of me like a pitcher peacefully emptying its contents. After that, I felt a bit better – after being an unmotivated schlub all day, I cleaned and got random stuff done.

Today was good too – spent it a lot more productively, aside from watching Jumper (ugh. Hayden Christensen is half-man, half-tree). I got an idea for a song, but I’d have to be in a different mood to keep working on it. I was trying to stay happy and positive today. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow, though… I think I’d rather just stay content for now. I think I deserve a little time in a bubble of ignorance, unless my circumstances change.

Hoping for the best,

-M.

Listening to: “White Winter Hymnal”, by Fleet Foxes. Yes, again. I know. I really really like this song. I can’t wait to get my greedy little paws on this album!

PS: to-do list for tomorrow:

• catch up on photography
• continue sewing tote bag (started it today, and it’s tres cute so far)
• call my darling friend D
• cook something
• clean room a bit – would be nice to be able to walk across the floor, and all…